Autism Tragedies

 WARNING!!!  The link I'm posting is about a very serious and tragic subject and does talk about the deaths of children .  If you are easily bothered then you can bypass the link and read my blog.
 LIVES LOST TO AUTISM!!!!!

As I was reading some of the blogs on the posted link it really got me to thinking how fortunate I am that Sammy isn't a wandering Autistic.  He knows danger and makes sure he is at all times with an adult.  Sometimes I forget how old Sammy is because he acts a lot more mature than his age but we still have to be vigilant and cautious because you just never know what could happen.

One blog in particular reminded me of the little 10 year old boy next door to us.  He too is high functioning but not in the same way that Sammy is.  This little boy has more severe issues than Sammy does and I worry about him.  I've talked to his mom a few times in passing and they are very nice people but it seems as if the father doesn't really know how to handle the little boy.  Often times I will hear him melting down only to see him running out the door and down the street.  Usually a while later the mother will start walking down the road to look for him.  He doesn't go very far and is normally found at the tennis court.  I have seen him outside unsupervised at 6 a.m playing in the street.  Most 10 year old's play outside without an adult but when you have a child on the spectrum they NEED to be supervised when outside especially if their favorite play spot is in the street.  
Personally I don't let either of my kids outside unsupervised because it's dangerous but more so for an autistic child.  I heard a car speeding through here this morning and all I could think of was, "what if the little boy next door was playing in the street".   I saw him the other night at 8:30pm melting down and running up the street in the cold with his shorts and flip flops on.  About 20 minutes later I saw his mom walking towards the tennis court carrying his jacket to him.  At some point you HAVE to keep an eye on your child especially if they are prone to running outside and melting down in the street.  Even when Sammy was little I had a chain lock up high on the door and then a hook and eye latch up even higher.  I'm sure at 10 years old he can easily stand on something and unlock the door but at some point you will hear or see your child trying escape and stop them.  
I have this fear that one day that little boy is going to be in the road having a meltdown or spinning in circles like he tends to do and then a car is going to come around the corner and run him over.  I know the mom keeps the blinds open but you have to be out there because by the time you run outside it could be to late for your child.  
If you have an Autistic child who likes to wander PLEASE put locks on your door and keep that child close.  Even if you have to put multiple locks on your door do what you have to do to keep your kids safe.  Have them supervised at all times while outside and please do not let them play in the road, not just Autistic kids but ALL kids.  I know some people see taking these precautions as an inconvenience but in my opinion it's a minor inconvenience if it protects your child from harms way.

This really hits home

I read this on the FB wall of a local Autism group here in town and thought I would share.  For me this hits home because it reminds me so much of what we went through at the beginning of the school year with a teacher who claimed to care and didn't.  Because of that we pulled our child from the school and place him in another school with teachers who actually DO care about him and what's best for him.
http://flappinessis.com/2011/12/01/an-apology-from-your-childs-former-teacher/ 

Being Thankful

I remember the first Thanksgiving after Sammy was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism.  I thought, "what the hell do I have to be thankful for, my son has Autism".  I was still bitter, angry and heartbroken.  All I could see was my own pain and the hurt I had for my son.  I wish the me now could tell the me then that I had so much to be thankful for.  I'm so thankful that the Autism isn't as bad as it could be, and I'm so incredibly thankful that my precious son can talk to us and tell us how his day at school was because so many children on the spectrum cannot.  I couldn't be more thankful to those who have helped us and encouraged us along the way.  It has been a long road full of milestones, heartbreak, and set backs but in the long run I'm thankful that I have that sweet boy in my life.  He has accomplished so much over the past 6 years and it amazes me at the amount of determination and endurance he has.


He is a much different child than what he was 3 years ago.  3 years ago I was preparing to send my non-verbal child to preschool for the first time and struggling with the fact that he would be with people that I didn't know all day.  Little did I know that those people would play a huge part in our lives over the next several years.  People who we grew to love like family and treated my son as if he was one of their own.  A terrific group of ladies who I'm so thankful to for the time, love and compassion they gave to not only to my son but to Joe and I as well.   For the longest I couldn't look at Sammy without being filled with grief, despair because the word, "Autism" was attached to him. Once I got out of that frame of mind and started focusing on what he could do instead of what he couldn't do I found myself letting go of the anger and grief.  Instead of Sammy going to the park and me thinking, " well he can't swing on the swing and he won't play with the other kids what's the point of being here" I started thinking, "wow lets play on the slide because he loves that and then we'll look for 4 leaf clovers together since he doesn't want to be near the other kids".   If I didn't try to push the swings on him or try to persuade him to play with other kids it saved me the heartbreak of it all and lessened his anxiety.  We found ourselves having a much more enjoyable time at the park and us not leaving feeling aggravated and defeated.
I've learned to be thankful for what I have instead of what I don't and to be thankful for the things that Sammy can do instead of the things he can't.  Now days you wouldn't know by looking at him or talking to him that he even has Autism.  It's amazing how much things have changed for him and for us.
So this Thanksgiving we have so much to be thankful where our son in concerned.  Just remember that Autism isn't a handicap unless you treat it as one and then you aren't doing yourself or your child any good.  Take the good with the bad and each day as it comes. 

I have always loved this

Some random updates

Sammy is doing wonderfully in his new school.  His teachers are amazing and he is having NONE of the problems that he was having in his old school with his other teacher.  Given everything I now know about what was going on in his old classroom I know that moving him was the absolute best thing for him.  He is no longer having the anxiety, stomach issues and bad dreams that he was having and he once again LOVES going to school.  He still has some problems with his coping skills but that too is greatly improving.  It's so good to have him happy again and not fearful or scared all the time.  He still says he's sorry for everything but that too is getting better.  We always assure him that there is no need to apologize because he's sick or needs something and that we are there for him.  I'm sure I don't know everything that went on in his old classroom but just the fact that he was apologizing for everything little thing and scared all the time really worries me for the other students who are currently in her classroom.  Some people just do not need to be teachers if they can't handle it.  ALL children need help sometimes and when dealing with an autistic child you absolutely MUST have patience, understanding, compassion, and time to deal with that child in an appropriate manner.  Something small to you and I can be a HUGE deal to an autistic child and we are still undoing the damage that the other teacher did to him.  Luckily Sammy is incredibly resilient and has parents who are willing to stand up for him and protect him.  Now that he is in this other school I don't worry nearly as much about him during the day because I know that he is with teachers who understand him and love teaching.  He is with people who are compassionate, caring and devoted which is what a teacher should be. 

We are still wondering how he is going to handle the changes with us moving in a couple of weeks.  He is really excited but sometimes mentions his nervousness about the change.  I know that his excitement will turn to uncertainty once we start the actual moving process.  So far he is doing really well with the packing and the large amount of packed boxes in the house.  I have a feeling this will be like Christmas and his birthday.  He will be super excited and talk endlessly about it but when it actually happens he's going freeze up and get anxiety ridden and question participating.  I fully expect him to cover his eyes and need coaxing when we take him to see our new place.  He and his sister will be staying with my parents for a couple of days while we start moving in so I think the day before we actually start the moving process we are going to take them over and let them check out the place and pick their bedrooms.  I think that will help him adjust easier if he knows what to expect beforehand.  Talking about it doesn't prepare him nearly enough sometimes.  Then again he may surprise us all and happily jump right in to it, but I think letting them go over there and play inside before we actually move in will help him greatly.

On another note he goes Halloween day for another renal ultrasound to check his kidneys again.  We are desperately hoping that he is outgrowing the reflux since he hasn't had any infections since the beginning of the year.  I still hate that he went through surgery just to have it not work but hopefully this will be something he will outgrow.  So as you all can see we have been busy around here and things look to stay that will until after the holidays.  Oh speaking of holidays I wanted to throw this out there because we are super excited lol.  Sammy's birthday is coming soon and he ALWAYS asks for educational toys or plastic letters and numbers.  This year he actually asked for something FUN,  he wants a Nintendo DS for his birthday.  We were excited because last year he wanted space and geography items for his birthday and Christmas which is what we got him.  Now I'm in NO WAY knocking him for wanting educational toys because that is great that he is so into learning but it's awesome that he wants something typical that little boys his age are asking for.  I suspect he isn't wanting it for the, "fun" aspect of it because he has found a math and spelling game that he is wanting to go with it.  Sometimes it's the little things that get you excited.

I LOVE This

Autism is a trip posted this on her blog and I wanted to share it with you all.

I am the child that looks healthy and fine. I was born with ten fingers and toes. But something is different, somewhere in my mind, And what it is, nobody knows. I am the child ......that struggles in school, Though they say that I'm perfectly smart. They tell me I'm lazy -- can learn if I try -- But I don't seem to know where to start. I am the child that won't wear the clothes which hurt me or b......other my feet. I dread sudden noises, can't handle most smells, And tastes -- there are few foods I'll eat. I am the child that can't catch the ball And runs with an awkward gait. I am the one chosen last on the team And I cringe as I stand there and wait. I am the child with whom no one will play -- The one that gets bullied and teased I try to fit in and I want to be liked, But nothing I do seems to please. I am the child that tantrums and freaks Over things that seem petty and trite. You'll never know how I panic inside, When I'm lost in my anger and fright. I am the child that fidgets and squirms Though I'm told to sit still and be good. Do you think that I choose to be out of control? Don't you know that I would if I could? I am the child with the broken heart Though I act like I don't really care. Perhaps there's a reason I'm made this way -- Some message I'm sent to share. For I am the child that needs to be loved And accepted and valued too. I am the child that is misunderstood. I am different - but look just like you. (via Autism Support and discussions).

Lots Of Changes

Lots of changes going on in the Jones household.  We had a meeting last week with the school officials and decided that the best thing for Sammy would be to change schools.  He wasn't thriving at his old school and he had become a totally different child.  He had become fearful, full of anxiety and his stomach was a mess.  After finding out some not so pleasant things that his teacher was doing it really shed some light on why Sammy had drastically regressed.  We loved the school he was in and we fought so hard to get him in there,  but once we found out what was going on behind closed doors we were livid to say the least.
We were nervous about transitioning him to another school because he doesn't like change but we took him in one day last week to meet his teachers and to tour the school and he LOVED it.  He was so excited and he and his resource teacher clicked as did he and his regular teacher.  He wasn't scared and he talked to all the adults and it was a great experience.  His first day at his new school was approached with caution but he did amazing.  He freely spoke to the other children and was so excited and happy to be there.  We knew we had made the right choice and emotionally he is doing much much better.  He's coming home happy and full of smiles,  his stomach is feeling better and he isn't full of anxiety and dread.  His teachers are wonderful and so hands on.  He even asked me yesterday if I could drop him off in the carpool line instead of walking him in.  That is HUGE for him and I was a little sad that he did it without me but I knew what a big step that was and I was okay with it.  Kids need their independence and need to know that they can do things without mom and dad sometimes. 

The other big change in our lives is that we are moving in November.  We have talked to Sammy a lot about us moving and how we won't be living in this house anymore.  So far he seems excited and can't wait to see our new place.  He and his sister were so excited to find out we would have a pool because they both LOVE to swim.  It's a lot changes at once and there are other changes going on but nothing I can discuss right now because things have to be hush hush for the time being but everything is really starting to look up.  It's definitely going to be a new adventure for us.  I think Sammy will adjust well and  he's already shown so much resilience the past few months.  It's amazing how a change in atmosphere can affect a person and Sammy has shown that in the right environment with the right teachers he can thrive and do amazing things.  I hate that one bad apple teacher set him back but I think he'll bounce back quickly. 

Taking Things Literally

My husband and I have found ourselves drawn to a show called Alphas.  One of the main characters has High Functioning Autism and reminds me quite a bit of Sammy in the sense that he takes everything literally.  
Sammy takes everything you say literally so it's hard to joke with him or just use common phrases.  If I'm busy with his sister and he needs something I use to say, "in a minute".  Well when you say, "in a minute"  Sammy literally thinks it's one minute and the count down begins.  If you say, "give me a few minutes" he understands it's going to be a short time but he still wants to attach minutes to it and needs a time frame.  It can be frustrating sometimes and I have to remind myself that it isn't his fault.

I also love the show, "Big Bang Theory" and often find similarities between Sammy and one of the main characters named Sheldon.  Sheldon often doesn't get jokes or sarcasm and that reminds me so much of Sammy.  Sometimes we can be joking about something and he'll get a serious look on his face and say, "you're just joking aren't you".  He does say silly things and joke but it's not quite in the same manner that most kids do it.  Sometimes in the mornings when we are getting for school he'll act silly and put his underwear on his head and run around acting all crazy.  I'll say, "okay Sammy quit playing around it's time to get ready".  In his mind he thinks I'm saying that he can't play anymore and he gets upset.  Sometimes we really have to think about how we word things because quick things said in passing  linger in his mind and he's very one track minded.  He gets focused on something and it consumes him until he's figured it out or has become fixated on something else. 
There is no in between with Sammy,  either it's black or it's white and if he thinks he's right he will debate with you until you prove him wrong or vice versa.

I'm very bad about using the phrase, " It's the same difference" and that really trips him up.  He can't grasp how it can be the same but different so he wants you to explain the logic of that to him.   I was thinking the other day about a joke I told the kids and Sammy just looked at me so bewildered, like what I just said was so absurd but his 2 year old sister found it hysterical.  Jokes are something that he doesn't always get.  What's funny to most kids isn't always funny to him but what IS funny to him is writing a letter or number upside down and pretending like it's right, or laughing and saying that the Earth doesn't have a core lol.  Those are the types of things he finds humor in.  In his mind everything has a purpose and everything has a reason and you don't do something just to do it.  It can frustrating sometimes having to explain every little thing to him.  The other day I was heading into the kitchen and told Sammy that I was thirsty.  He asked me WHY I was thirsty and  I told him I didn't know but I just was.  He got flustered and said, "YES YOU DO KNOW". If you don't give a reason for things he thinks you're holding out information and he gets agitated.  I know the time is here for outside therapy so we are looking into that.  Joe's insurance covers anything that deals with Autism 100% but none of the therapists around our area takes insurance so that majorly sucks for us because now we have to pay it out of pocket which can get expensive.  We are planning to move in a few months so that we can focus more on paying for therapy and not have to keep dropping cash into this money pit house we live in.  I think it'll be better all the way around for our entire family.  We just have to keep doing what we think is best for our kids.

Looking Beyond The Autism

Last weekend was the S.E.A Beyond Tomorrow Fundraiser and they had a great turn out.  I was able to sell some of my handmade boutique style hair bows to help raise money for the cause and it was a very enjoyable evening.  Angela Collier did a phenomenal job of putting this event together and she truly is an amazing person for all she does in the Autism community.
The band was awesome but what was most impressive was the talent that these young adults have.  Everything from playing the violin to painting.  I wish I had half the talent that some of these kids have.  Seeing some of the paintings were just mind blowing.  So many people think that children and adults on the spectrum are weird, and couldn't possibly have anything useful to contribute to society but nothing could be further from the truth.


Yeah, those on the spectrum may not get social ques, seem quirky or even odd to those who don't understand but ya know,  their intellect and talent more than make up for that.  Autism isn't a handicap,  it's just individuals who think, learn and see things differently than the rest of us and we can learn so much from them.  Sammy can look at things and almost immediately find something in what he's looking at that will resemble a number to him.  Sometimes it's harder for me to find the number in what he sees but he can point it out instantly and he thinks I'm the odd one for not seeing it quicker lol.  
It's so funny how people think that those on the spectrum are, "odd" but to the people on the spectrum it's those other people who are odd.  The people who can't see things the way they do.  They can see beauty in something that you and I might not be able to see beauty in.  It's always amazing how those on the spectrum can find inspiration in the things that most people would find uninspiring.   

I've seen so many people look at someone on the spectrum and make comments about how, "weird" or "off" they seem.   When you have a child or someone close to you on the spectrum you don't look at people like that.  When I was at the fundraiser I didn't see anyone odd, different, or weird.  I saw brilliant, talented, kind, helpful young adults who have TONS of great things to offer to this world.  There is nothing wrong with individuals who learn, think, feel, and see things differently than the majority of people out there.   Seeing those young adults at the fundraiser gave me hope for Sammy as he gets older.  It was helpful to me to see teenagers on the spectrum because I've only been exposed to young children on the spectrum so it gave me a little insight into the future with Sammy.  I know it's going to be a hard road with Sammy and I know we will have harder obstacles and challenges to face as he gets older.  This new school year has already proven to be challenging but I know we will be okay.

High Functioning Autism Video

Found this great video on Youtube and wanted to share

The Odd Man Out

Last night I spent a lot of time thinking about yesterdays meeting and things that were said.  We are trying to weigh the pro's and con's of different suggestions and trying to find the perfect fit for Sammy.
I was talking to my mother who is as blunt as a mac truck (which I totally love) but she said something that I hadn't thought of and that's,  Sammy is the odd man out.  I thought about it and she's right.  He is the only Autism spectrum child in his class and some of his actions can be foreign to those who have never been exposed to it.  His pre-k peers accepted him because to them he was, "normal"  since there were other spectrum kids in his class.  This year he is the odd man out, the, "black sheep" of the class.  If he goes to the other program which is a typical classroom setting part of the day and special needs classes the other part of the day will he be the, "black sheep" there too because his Autism isn't as severe as other peers?  I feel like he's going to be the odd man out wherever he goes.  I'm kind of at a loss as to what we should do.  He's not flourishing and thriving the way he did in pre-k.  I'm wondering if his lack of paying attention is because he's bored with the curriculum.  They are learning their shapes, letters, numbers and colors and this is stuff he's known and done for years now.



I feel like he knows he's some how, "different" than those around him and we struggle with that.  I had not thought about how his actions would look to his peers and I don't want him mistreated because he still doesn't fully grasp the concept of somebody doing something on accident or on purpose.  He came home one day last week with a definite shoe print on his back and I asked him about it and finally he told me that a little girl in his class kicked him in the back.  He said she did it on purpose and the teacher made her say she was sorry but then he said it was an accident.  I'm not sure what happened.  Yesterday he got a yellow card and when I asked what happened he told me he had a tantrum.  When I asked why, he said that another kid hid a toy he was playing with and it upset him.   So I'm not sure if the other kids are intentionally doing these things or if Sammy isn't understanding exactly what is going on.  I feel like his teacher isn't going to be much help seeing as how she acted as though Sammy was doing really good and then blindsided us with the news that he wasn't.

  I know the kids don't understand why Sammy sometimes says and does certain things but I really thought there would be other children like Sammy in his class and now I feel like crap because there aren't.  In away I feel deceived and I'm not trying to place blame on the teacher in any way but she could have been more forthcoming with information and alerted us to certain things that were concerning to her instead of concealing the information and then blindsiding us with it 3 weeks into the semester.

Joe was talking to me the other day about how he feels that sometimes Sammy gets, "avoided" because others are afraid they will upset him or because they don't know how to handle his quirks.  We were already feeling down about that because it's another instance of Sammy being left out by others and now this.
Is it always going to be like this? Are family and friends going to purposely avoid or exclude him for fear of upsetting him?  I think what's going on right now is anxiety induced regression.  Sammy has done very very good for so long and now I feel like we are back sliding  He is not bad by any means and is very well behaved but I think a lot of people don't understand him so they just chose to not include him.  Joe is having major issues with that right now and rightfully so.  I just say that people suck, and he shouldn't be exposed to those who don't want to include him.  Treating him differently makes HIM feel different and that's what we struggle to avoid.  Sometimes people make it hard for him to feel normal.  I don't know I think at this point I'm just rambling.  Have I mentioned how bad Autism  and people suck????

In Between

Not really sure where we go from here.  I had a meeting with the school today that we fought so hard to get Sammy into and it seems as if he isn't doing well.  Academically he's fine but emotionally he is having a very hard time.  We had a write up in his IEP last year about goals for this year and one of the goals for him was to work on his coping skills.  I thought he was doing okay but he isn't and needs prompting with nearly everything, and if someone isn't there to guide him through something he cries and says he can't do it.  He's not eating at school, his stomach has been in turmoil and the larger classroom size and lack of one on one time is to much for him to handle.  He comes home everyday happy and full of stories about what went on during the day so this was a complete shock to me.

With the budget cuts there really isn't a place for children like Sammy.  Seeing as how he goes to a magnet school he can't get an aide but if he went to his home school he could get one.  That still doesn't help the issue of him not being able to handle a larger, A-typical classroom setting.  He doesn't need special ed and he's at an in between spot and I'm not sure where we go from here.  I strongly oppose homeschooling so that isn't even a consideration.  Kids like Sammy NEED the social interaction of peers and in my opinion it's not healthy for children to be around mom and dad 24/7.  They need school so they can assert their independence and make friends outside the home.
I'm not turning this into a homeschooling debate but stating my opinion. 
In 3 weeks time we will have another meeting and decide from there where we go and what we do.  I hate to uproot him from the only school he's ever known but also can't have him being stressed and full of anxiety.


If we were to go to a different school I know he's going to be anxious for awhile because that is a HUGE change for him.  We are going through changes here at home as we are seriously talking about moving and getting out from under this house.  I'm afraid if everything starts changing he's going to have issues.  He's already having stomach problems due to the stress of things at school.  I really thought he was doing good and that there weren't any problems.  That's why I HATE the changes the school made this year due to budget cuts.  I NEED to have one on one communication with his teacher that isn't just in the form of a note being sent in his communicator folder each day.  He has done so good the past few years and we all thought he would be perfectly fine in a typical classroom.   I guess he needs a smaller classroom and more one on one time.  I know he has issues coping with things and we are really working on that but apparently he isn't focusing or following directions and is very emotional.  The teacher has 17 other kids and is constantly stopping to remind Sammy of something.  I'm just heartbroken because we fought so hard to get him into this school and now he may have to transfer in another few weeks.   We all thought that AAA would be the best place for him and I feel like we've somehow failed him.  I tried so hard to hold it together in our meeting today and I really teared up in the end but I held it together until I got in the car and then I lost it.  The uncertainty of it all is upsetting enough and as hard as it is on us I know it's a lot harder on him.


If we would have thought for one minute that he couldn't handle a typical classroom setting then we never would have fought to get him in to AAA. How could so many of us have been so wrong?  His actions last year in pre-k gave us every indication that he was ready and he wasn't.  I'm just upset and confused and I don't like not knowing what is going to happen.

Off To Kindergarten

Monday kicked off Sammy's first day of kindergarten and so far it's going really well.
Going in a different entrance and having a new teacher has been a very big adjustment for him seeing as how he has had the same teacher for the past 2 1/2 years.   
The first day we got to walk him to class and he did okay until Joe and I started to leave.  He ran to me and tried to climb me like a tree and he was very weepy and nervous.  I told him that I loved him and to have a good day and I would be back to get him once school was over.  I led him to his teacher and Joe and I left.  

Joe has never experienced a first day of school for Sammy because it always started when Joe was on the day shift.  Once we left the classroom Joe seemed a little teary and kept peaking in the door  to see how Sammy was doing.  I had to remind him that Sammy would be okay and we had to do the "band-aid" approach.  We waited eagerly for the school day to end so that we could see how his day went.  I was worried about how Sammy would adjust to the changes but I knew he would fine.  My mother and husband on the other hand expected the worst.  I told them to have a little confidence in Sammy, and that he would be just fine.  Once the school day ended Sammy was all smiles and eager to tell us about  how his first day of school went.  His teacher said he had a great day and hardly cried once we left.

The second day we weren't allowed to walk them to class.  We could only walk them so far into the school and then the teachers take them from there and sit them down against the wall.  That was not how Sammy was use to going into the school so once I handed him off to his teacher he started crying.  Again I had to do the, "band-aid approach"and reassure him that I would be back that afternoon and I loved him.   It's hard to walk away when your child is crying for you but I know it's a lot harder on the child if you stay and baby them.  In pre-school he knew what was expected of him and he had the same routine for years and all of the sudden everything is different and it's definitely going to take some time for Sammy and myself  to adjust to this routine and this new way of doing things.  Sammy and I are both creatures of habit and neither of us likes change lol.  

Overall I think Sammy is handing these changes better than we had anticipated and it just shows how far he's come.  It's seems like yesterday he was a baby being rocked to sleep in my arms and now he's in Kindergarten and losing teeth.  They definitely grow up way to fast.

Intolerance (may be offensive)

I'm going to attempt to blog this in a way that doesn't offend anyone.
I do not like intolerance or intolerant people.  I have learned to accept everyone for who they are.  There are people that I absolutely cannot tolerate because of their ignorance and judgments towards those who don't think, feel, or believe the same as they do.  Okay with that being said there are times when I feel like we've been discriminated against because of Sammy's autism.  Parents of special needs children know all to well what I'm talking about.  Okay so I don't understand how the same people who get all bent out of shape because they or their child was discriminated against can turn around and do it to someone else.  I know it's human nature and I totally get that,  but why not think about how you felt when that happened to you and use those feelings to NOT do it to someone else.
I get that people say they don't agree with something because it's against their religion, but what gives them the right to use THEIR religion to discriminate against someone else or to tell them what they can and cannot do?  There are thousands of religions in this country and everyone feels theirs is the only right one,  but not everyone shares in those beliefs.  So why do they use their beliefs to infringe on the rights of others?  I don't appreciate someone belittling me because something I say or do goes against THEIR beliefs.  Just because it's YOUR belief doesn't mean it's everyone's belief.
I saw something the other day that made me think long and hard about this.  Someone who KNOWS all to well what it's like to be discriminated against and yet they were being discriminating towards another class of people just because their belief says that what those people are doing is wrong.  Who says it's wrong? Their religion?  Religion and different beliefs is absolutely no reason to discriminate, be violent or intolerant towards others.
I am teaching my kids that everyone is different and that is what makes the world go round.  Everyone has a story and we can all learn from each other.  I have friends from every walk of life and I love them for WHO they are and not what they are.  I love my gay friends, my disabled friends, my christian friends, my atheist friends, my black friends, my Hispanic friends, ALL of my friends.  I don't care who they do or do not pray to,  I don't care what color their skin is and I don't care if they have a disability.  I see PAST that and all those things are what make them WHO they are.
I have been discriminated against and put down by one of my husbands intolerant, ignorant family members because I didn't believe in the same things she did.   She put my husband down, our parenting down and judged us because her ignorance doesn't allow her to be tolerant towards others.  Yet she was the first one to cry and have a tantrum when someone did the same thing to her.  Why was it okay for her to do those things and not someone else?  When the tables were turned she didn't like how it felt but yet she kept right on doing it because she said she was doing in the name of her religion.  I think her god would be pretty upset at her judgment, hate and intolerance towards others who don't share her same views and beliefs.


When my kids look at people I want them to see the person for who they are.  Just like when people see my son I want them to see a smart, witty, polite, sweet little boy.  I don't want them to hear autism and treat him differently.  It's sad when intolerant people can't live and let live and when their beliefs infringe on another persons rights.  If the way someone lives their life doesn't affect you and your life, then don't use your lifestyle or beliefs to infringe on their lifestyle or their rights just because you don't agree with it.  We ALL should have the freedom to live our lives the way we see fit.  
I know this is totally off topic from what this blog is intended for but it's something that's been on my mind the past few days and I needed to get it all out lol.

Intro Letter To Teachers

A friend of mine uses this to inform her son's teachers each year of Asperger Syndrome.  You can tailor it to fit your specific child's needs.  I think this would be hugely helpful to parents who struggle with a child who has Asperger Syndrome.  Not only does it educate but it tells the teacher about YOUR child's specific needs and triggers.

INTRO LETTER TO TEACHER ABOUT STUDENTS WITH ASPERGER SYNDROME

Things NOT To Say And Do

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she was telling me that sometimes she doesn't know what to say to a friend of hers who has a child on the spectrum.  She never wants to say the wrong thing.  I thought that was great of her to be there for her friend and to be mindful of not saying the wrong things.
That got me to thinking about all the things that good intentioned people have said to us over the years.  Sometimes people think they are being helpful when they are actually be hurtful because they just do not understand Autism and other spectrum disorders.
I'm going to give a few suggestions of things NOT to say or do.

1. Do not say, "oh they'll grow out of it".  NO THEY WONT.  You don't  grow out of Autism.  You learn to deal with it and how to handle yourself as you get older.  I wish it were as simple as just growing out of it,  but it isn't.

2.  Well he'll talk when he's ready don't push him.  Uh no he wont talk when he's ready.  His brain doesn't work the way yours does and he can't make his mouth say what his brain wants him to.  It takes a lot of hard work and speech therapy.

3.  When a child is in public and going into sensory overload, DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT tell the parent of that child that their kid needs a good old fashioned spanking,  or that he's spoiled and needs to get over it.  That child is not spoiled and spanking will only make it worse.  SENSORY OVERLOAD is NOT something you can just spank out of a child.  That child can NOT control themselves when over stimulated.  When the mother of that child tells you the child has Autism don't argue that the kid is spoiled and nothing is wrong him.


4.  DO NOT ever say that a child is speech delayed or has Autism because of parental neglect.  I read on a blog where someone said that because their ignorance doesn't allow them to think differently.  Speech delay and Autism has nothing to do with parental neglect.   I totally went off after reading that because we busted our butts working with our son and for someone so ignorant to say such a stupid thing just blew our minds.


5. Do NOT ask if Autism is contagious.  It's not and your child cannot catch Autism from playing with a child who is on the spectrum.  Just the sheer fact that someone would think that proves to me more and more how ignorant our society has become towards special needs children.


6. Do NOT say, "wow you would never know your child has something wrong with him".  My child DOES NOT have anything wrong with him.  He is absolutely brilliant and perfect.  That's when you look at that person and say, "wow I would have never know you were ignorant until you opened your mouth".


7. If the mother of a special needs child is talking about a problem with her child,  please do not say, "oh I know how you feel".  Unless you have a special needs child you don't know how it feels.  And if you don't have children at all then don't ever, ever say you know how it feels.
Let me give you an example of this:

Mother of special needs child:  I don't know what to do, little Johnny freaks out when we put him on the potty.  He's 4 and I fear he'll never be potty trained.

Person who doesn't know better:  Oh I know just how you feel,  when were teaching our puppy to go potty outside he would always go on the carpet by the door instead.  I totally get where you're coming from.

( I actually saw where someone had said this to someone on a message board)


8. Please don't NOT invite a child who has Autism or is on the spectrum to a birthday party or some other function because YOU don't know how they'll act at the party or if they can handle it.  Let the parents of that child make that decision but do not leave out that child.  It hurts the child and the parents.  Generally if a child goes into sensory overload at a party or some other function the parent will leave with that child.
(this happened to my son and caused hurt feelings because he does wonderful at birthday parties now that he's older)


9.   Do not talk about the child's Autism to the parent in front of that child. 


10.  If your child asks about a child on the spectrum please do not tell them that the Autistic child is, "slow" or "not right".  My child is not slow and is super smart.  There is nothing, "not right" about children on the spectrum,  they just learn in a different way than most kids.


11.  If your friend is talking about their special needs child,  you don't always have to offer advice.  Sometimes it's just good for that parent to get what they are feeling off their chest.  Tell them that you will be there any time they need to talk.  Sometimes having someone to talk to makes all the difference in the world.


12.  If your friends child is having a meltdown and the parent is trying to calm them,  please don't just sit there and stare.  Ask if there is anything you can do to help that parent. Sometimes that mother needs an extra set of hands rather it be to help with the situation or to keep an eye on a sibling while the parent is calming their child down.


13.  Do not tell the parent of an Autistic child or a child on the spectrum that they shouldn't take their child out in public if they are going to go into sensory overload or meltdown.
Sometimes we don't know what can set that child off.  We can't keep special needs kids locked inside because someone doesn't want to hear them experiencing a meltdown.  We have to teach them to function in society.  I will quickly tell you that my child can overcome his fear but you can't overcome your ignorance and stupidity.


14. If you ever have questions about Autism then do not hesitate to ask the parent of an Autistic child.  Most of us have no problems answering questions.  An answered question is one more person educated on the subject. 


15.  A lot of children on the spectrum are solitary sometimes when they are at the park or other attending other functions.  Sometimes they really won't talk or acknowledge  the other children unless it's someone they know well.  If your child tries to talk to the Autistic child and he doesn't respond,  then please do not tell your child that the other child was being rude or stuck up.  Autistic children do not always get the social ques and they can become so focused on what they are doing that they tune everything else out..

Environmental Factors Linked To Autism

Environmental factors linked to Autism

I have been messaged quite a bit on Facebook and asked what my thoughts are on this new study.
Personally I think that Autism is genetic, BUT I feel that sometimes it's takes environmental  factors or other things to trigger the signs and symptoms of Autism.  
I don't think that vaccines cause Autism but I do think that vaccines could be a trigger for some children.
I have no doubt in my mind that my son was born with High Functioning Autism.  Could it have been caused by something that happened during my pregnancy?  Maybe.  I had a hard pregnancy with my son and had lots of tests run on me and I often wonder if some of those tests didn't contribute to his Autism.  Chances are I'll never know,  but they were tests that were desperately needed and without them it would have negatively affected both of us.  
I think a number of things can be considered "triggers" for Autism and mistaken as being the cause.
It could be something such as preservatives or additives in the foods we feed our kids. It could be the hormones pumped into the meat and dairy products that we consume.  It could  even be the dyes in our food, and as I said before it could be something in the vaccines that TRIGGER it but not cause it.   I can't say that I think any one thing triggered my sons Autism because looking back I can see signs very early on,  but Autism is different for every child.  I think studies will find that there IS an Autism gene and sometimes it takes something to trigger it before the symptoms present itself.

Fireworks

This was the scene over our house on the 4th of July.  We were in the middle of the two biggest fireworks displays in our city and we could see both of them perfectly. 
Last year Sammy covered his ears and cringed at the sound of bottle rockets exploding  and other random fireworks, but this year he LOVED it.  He was so excited to see the firework shows and was disappointed when they ended.  Usually we celebrate the 4th of July with Joe's family who puts on a huge show, but this year I wasn't feeling well and we didn't know how Sammy would react.  So we decided to stay home and enjoy the fireworks from the comfort of our own yard.  It was nice not having to drive home late with 2 tired and cranky kids while fighting traffic and DUI check points.   I would have hated to take him all the way out there and have him freak out and go into sensory overload and have to turn around and bring him home (still not sure how he would have handled the huge amount of people that was there).  That wouldn't have been fair to him or his sister.   We were thrilled to see him so enthusiastic about the fireworks and it was awesome that they didn't seem to set off any sensory issues for him.  The difference between this year and last year are HUGE.  I feel like that's one more huge accomplishment for him and we couldn't be happier about that.

Another Milestone

For the past few months we've been keeping an eye on what we call a, "wiggler".  That tiny little loose tooth in Sammy's mouth that we have eagerly been awaiting to fall out.  We've noticed over the past week or so that Sammy has been having an increasingly difficult time eating because that tooth has been so loose.  Sometimes it would stick straight out and I would cringe watching it wiggling around lol.  I'm very squeamish about teeth so I would just wiggle it sometimes to try and help it along but I know I couldn't handle pulling it.  
Sammy has had some anxiety about this tooth because someone made a comment about, "snatching" it out and Sammy takes everything you say literally so we have had to assure him that nobody is going to snatch his teeth out.  
As days went on he was becoming increasingly irritated by this tooth and we tried helping it along by giving him apples or some sort of sticky treat which didn't work.  It was on the verge of coming out but needed a little help.  Sammy was getting to the point to where eating was getting difficult so yesterday we bribed him into letting us "wiggle" it for a little bit and we told him we would give it little, "tugs".  Sammy was anxious and scared but we reassured him and he let his daddy work with it a bit and out it came.  Sammy had this look of utter shock, and yelled, "PUT IT BACK DADDY" lol.  He was kind of embarrassed and clung to me unsure of what to do, but we made a huge deal about how awesome it was and how the Tooth Fairy was going to come and see him and then he was okay with it.  He asked how much the Tooth Fairy would bring him and I told him I wasn't sure but probably around $5.  He asked if she could bring him $20 so he could buy some more Lego's lol.  I informed him that she generally doesn't bring $20 but he can save his money and buy some more Lego's.   It's not like he doesn't have a couple of thousand anyway.

So this morning he woke up to find $5 and 2 gold $1 pieces under his pillow and he was so excited.  He's already wiggling his other loose tooth and talking about how much money he is going to get for it.  Over all I think he did wonderful with the whole loose tooth thing.  Much better than we had anticipated and I will always remember that he lost his first tooth the day before my birthday.

4th Of July

I love the 4th of July.  It's that time of year when we enjoy cook-outs and fireworks with good family and friends.  The fun part of the summer when the children are running around with watermelon stained shirts, colored mouths from Popsicle's and sparklers in hand.  I love how the kids eyes fill up with wonder and amazement as fiery lights streak across the sky and explode into a beautiful shower of colors and sparkles.

For an Autistic child those eyes aren't always filled with wonder and amazement but often with fear and uncertainty.  The loud thunderous booms and bright flashing lights often scare children on the spectrum.  Often times I never know how my son will react to fireworks but usually he covers his ears and wants to go back inside,  fearful of the noise and bright lights.  No amount of reassuring will help him to enjoy the joyous thrill of watching fireworks.  
I hope this year it will be different for him but you never know how he's going to react until he's faced with the situation.  This year we are literally across the street from the two largest firework shows in the city.  If he's in bed or indoors he's usually okay and the noise isn't so scary for him.  I hope this year being in our own back yard will be comforting and that he may actually enjoy the show this year.   So many parents get to experience the joy of watching their children gaze in awe and amazement at the firework displays never thinking of what it's like for an Autistic child.
Now that our daughter is getting older we don't want her missing out on things so it usually means that one parent misses out while the other parent shares the activity with our daughter.  It's not our son's fault and I never want him to think that it is,  he cannot help his sensory issues.  I won't sit here and say that it doesn't make me sad that he can't always enjoy the things that other children do because it does make me sad and it hurts my heart to know that he is missing out on things.   
We will take him outside and if he thinks he can handle it then the four of us will lay on our hammock in the back yard and enjoy the fireworks.  If he can't handle it then it's okay too.  He and I will go inside and read a bed time story and turn up the TV so he doesn't have to hear the booms of the fireworks.   I hope this year he will be able to handle it and experience the joy in it all without being fearful.  Like every holiday we approach it with great caution and with lots of preparedness to make it as easy as possible for our son.

AS-SEA Beyond Tomorrow Fundraiser

 AS-SEA Beyond Tomorrow will be having a fund raiser to benefit their non-profit organization.
Tickets go on sale July 1st for $10 per person.  DiscOasis will be there performing so please come out and show your support for AS-SEA Beyond Tomorrow.  It's a wonderful organization doing wonderful things in our community to help those with Asperger Syndrome. 

Location: Flying Monkey Theater Arts Center Lowe Mill
Date: Saturday August 27th
Time: 6pm - 9pm
There will be a silent auction and the young people will be showcasing their art and musical talents starting at 6pm.  Come out have a great time and support a wonderful cause.

VCUG Results

When Sammy had his surgery in March we knew that it had an 80% success rate.  We were optimistic that the worst was behind him after he had the surgery and that this would fix his kidney reflux.  Today he had his VCUG procedure and it was so hard on him.  He fought with everything he had which made it even harder.  The radiologist told Joe and I that Sammy STILL had kidney reflux stage 2 borderline stage 3 the same as he had before his surgery.  We were devastated but at least it prepared us for when we went to see the urologist.  Usually the nurses call you back but the doctor came out and personally got us and we knew why.  He closed the door and said he was sorry but Sammy was in the 20% that the procedure did not work for.  At least being told before hand softened the blow a little.

Our question for him was, "what do we do now? Where do we go from here?".  Since Sammy had a catheter today he has to remain on his antibiotics for 3 days.  After that he is to stop taking them.  He has been on them since before his surgery so now we have to stop them and see how he does.
If he gets break through infections then it's on to a harder, more invasive surgery.  If he doesn't get any infections then he has another VCUG in a year to see if he is outgrowing it.  The look on the doctors face let us know that he didn't think this was something that Sammy would outgrow. 

I just cannot believe that after everything he has been through we are seemingly starting all over again.  Joe is taking it hard,  he is so angry and hurt for Sammy.  He even called to tell his parents about it which shocked the crap out of me (long story there).   I think I'm still in shock and in disbelief.  I never thought about the surgery NOT working.  The ultrasound he had in April looked really good and we figured that was a good sign.  I guess we were wrong to get our hopes up.   

Why is this happening to Sammy when he has already been through so much?  How much more does my little boy have to go through?   I want to scream and cry like a 3 year old that it's just not fair.  Just when things started looking up for him it's like somebody threw a brick wall in front of us.   I don't want Sammy to have to go through invasive surgery.  I don't want my son to be cut and have to spend time in the hospital.  I just want him to be okay and not have to go through this.  He's 5 years old and it seems like he's been through more than enough over the past several years.  When does it stop for him?  I'm sad, angry, hurt, and heartbroken and I just want to kick or hit something.   I would gladly trade places with him if it meant he wouldn't have to endure anymore procedures or surgeries.
I just don't know what else there is to say right now.

  This was Sammy after the medication kicked in.  He was feeling goooood.

Sammy after the procedure

VCUG Take 2

Sammy is going in a little bit for what is hopefully his last VCUG procedure.  I know how incredibly rough the last procedure was on him and I don't expect this one to be any different.  
This time Joe will be going back with him while he has it done.  I had a hard time holding him down last time and my heart broke.  I can't handle watching him struggle and begging for me to get him out of there.  Now that he knows what to expect maybe this time will be easier but I doubt it.  The doctor thinks that after looking at his ultrasound last month that the surgery worked but having this VCUG is the only way to know for sure.  If everything looks okay then we will be released from the kidney doctor and he will be off the kidney medication for good.
So think positive thoughts for us and keep your fingers crossed that the surgery worked and we get good news today.

Friendships

Watching children play together is always a precious thing.  The first several years of Sammy's life he had no desire to play with the other children or make friends.  He was quite content sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone else play.  Other children would initiate play with Sammy but he had no interest.  
It's sad to watch the other children laughing and playing on the playground while your child plays alone picking clovers out of a patch or finding pleasure in his solitude. 
Autistic children lack a lot of social ques and tend to avoid social interactions.

Now that Sammy is older he does play with other children if they are children he is familiar with.  He still likes to watch more than interact sometimes but he is learning to deal with some of the social, "quirks" he has.  I've mentioned several times in this blog about his best pal Donaven.  Donaven is a precious little boy who is also on the spectrum.  He and Sammy have been in preschool for 2 years together and developed a friendship.
Over the Memorial Day weekend we had a cookout and had some family and friends over to join us.  We had the pool and Slip n Slide set up and the sandboxes all ready to go.  We were so happy to have Donaven and his mother and brother join us in the holiday celebration.
Donaven's mother and I were chit chatting and we both have noticed over the past few months how odd the boys interaction with one another is.  Those two boys just adore each but they don't play together.  They do their own thing separately but they like to be near each other.  They like the companionship and comfort of knowing the other one is there even if they aren't really playing together.
I wont even begin to try and understand it but it works for them and it's very sweet.


Sometimes just watching them is fascinating.  They are so different in some ways but very much alike in others.  They don't sit down and do an activity together but they like having each other around.  Maybe it's a comfort thing because they have spent so much time at school together and then socially outside of school.  It makes me feel good knowing that Sammy has someone that he considers a friend.  
I had to break the news to him that he and Donaven would be going to different schools in the fall and it made him sad.  He told me that he loves Donaven and that's his best friend.  I think my heart broke as much as his did when I saw the tears welling up in his eyes.  I assured him that we would still see them socially and they would have playdates.  Not a day goes by that he doesn't mention Donaven.


When your child has been solitary and has social issues it really does your heart good to see them have a friend.  It's hard watching your child be a loner because they don't get certain social cues or because they find joy in their solitude.  As a parent it's a sad thing to sit back and watch.  You want your child to flourish socially and to interact with their peers.  Sammy has come a long way socially,  but he still has a long way to go.  We are working hard on his communication and how he responds to his peers.  Sometimes if he isn't in, "friend" mode and one of his peers talks to him he will completely ignore them or yell, "NO".  Sometimes the child on the receiving end doesn't understand and feelings get hurt.  He will on occasion do that to an adult and I have to sit him down and talk to him about his response and how to better handle it next time.  I'm sure he gets overwhelmed and doesn't know how to correctly express his feeling but in time he will get there.  We just have to keep encouraging him and continue giving him the guidance and reassurance that he needs.

It Takes A Village

I think in the past couple of weeks we have had more people tell us how proud they are of us for how well we do with Sammy and what wonderful parents we are.  I never know how to react when people say those things.  I always accept their compliments graciously but tell them that we are just doing what any parent would do for their children.  
This is not a blog bragging on our parenting skills because lord knows we are far from being the perfect parents.  I have never thought of our parenting skills as anything else other than doing what we have to do for the kids.  

I don't see us as being these stellar parents who are always on top of things and can handle any situation that is thrown at us.    Having a special needs child means that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that your child has what they need to be the best that they can be.  It means standing up for that child when they face injustice and adversity.   I couldn't imagine not trying to help Sammy in every way possible.  We just want what we feel is best for him and his sister and we strive to try and make that happen.  There are days when I feel like I've done nothing but fuss at the kids because of constant bickering or arguing between the two of them.  
There are nights when I go to bed feeling like a failure as a parent because of something that happened during the day.
We get tired, frustrated, upset, and impatient just like every other parent out there.

I think what gets us through it all is the love Joe and I have for our kids and the love and respect that we have for each other.  We have an amazing support system to help us through it all.   I lean on my mother a lot, and she can tell when I'm feeling worn down and defeated and that's when her and my dad load up the kids and take them for the night.  It gives the kids time with their grandparents and Joe and I much needed time to rest and re-energize. 
 We don't do this alone and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have an amazing husband and wonderful parents.   Having that support system really keeps me going some days.

 I like to think of the old phrase, "it takes a village".  Our son didn't get where he is just because of the work Joe and I do with him.  There have been a LOT of people who have helped us along the way.  Teachers, therapists,  family, and friends.  Two very special people have also played a huge roll in our sons life, Bonnie Butler and Angela Collier.  Bonnie is one of the most dedicated teachers I have seen in a very long time.  She truly loves each and every one of her students and she has just done amazing things with Sammy.  I am truly grateful for all that she has done for us.
Angela is a phenomenal therapist who helped us so much as we started our Autism journey with Sammy.  Her insight and knowledge was just invaluable to us.  The encouragement she gave us when we were struggling to come to terms with his diagnosis means more to us then she could ever realize.

There is no way Joe and I can take all the credit for how far our son has come.  We have met some truly extraordinary people on this journey.  People who have given us encouragement and hope for the future of our son.  People who's words have kept us going even on the darkest of day.  We have forged friendships with people who under normal circumstances we wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet. 
I look at my kids and they give me hope and strength.  When things seem dark,  they are the light that I need to get me through it all.   Through my kids I have learned so much and everyday the continue to inspire me.
They have given us so much more than they could ever realize.


 

 

The Battle Worth Fighting

It seems that where Sammy is concerned we have always had to fight for him.  Like any parent we want what we feel is best for our kids.  Sammy has unfortunately inherited his daddy's luck,  or lack there of.  Whenever we make a decision on what's best for him it always turns into an up hill battle.  Some battles are fought and won with ease while other battles have been harder fought and tougher to win.  

Sammy was placed in the Academy on his 3rd birthday due to his High Functioning Autism.  We were so apprehensive at first but we knew that this was the best choice for Sammy.  In the time that Sammy has been in the Academy we have watched him grow from a bud,  to a flourishing flower.  The one constant thing has always been our dedication to him and the dedication of his teacher and her two aides. They have done a phenomenal job with Sammy and in many ways we have come to love each of them as if they were part of our family.  They have been with us through the ups and downs of the past two and a half years. 

During the first half of this school year we discussed with Sammy's teacher our hope of having him attend the Academy permanently.  It is an Academics and Arts school that you have to apply to and then go through an interview process.  Just after Thanksgiving we submitted our application in hopes of getting an interview.  As the new year rolled around we anticipated a call for an interview and never received it.  I called them and  was told that Sammy was one of the first to be scheduled for an interview and that we needed to come in and set it up.  Sammy and I  went up there to schedule the interview for the following week and we chit chat and they asked if Sammy gets an IEP and I told them yes.  After that I was shut down.  The principal was in there and informed me that since Sammy receives an IEP he could not attend the Academy.  I called bullshit on that one because I knew of children who receive IEP's and attend the school.  I tried telling them that Sammy functions normally in a typical classroom setting and they shut me down.  I was told that *I* was not understanding what they were trying to tell me.  That absolutely infuriated me because THEY weren't understanding what I was telling them because they kept interrupting me and cutting me off while I was talking.  I left feeling angry and defeated, and when I get to feeling that way I'm a force to be reckoned with. 

After talking to Sammy's teacher who told me that IEP students DO attend the school,  we called the lady who is over the special needs children in our city and she was shocked.  Immediately we had her calling the school and Sammy's teacher calling the office.  Apparently they claimed it all to be a misunderstanding.  It would not have been a misunderstanding had I not have been shut down and had the opportunity to finish what I was trying to tell them.   
So because of their, "misunderstanding" our appointment slot was filled by someone else and we had to wait until round two.  I was furious about this and let it be known.  A month later we FINALLY get our interview and Sammy blew them away.  Not only did he draw the outline of the U.S from memory but he started drawing in states and telling them the capitals of each state.  From there he read a first grade book and showed them his mad math skills which are currently on a 1st-2nd grade level.  He also told them about the Solar System in great detail.  He made us so proud that day as he showed them everything he had.  From that point it was a waiting game. Days, and weeks ticked by and nothing.  EVERYONE was pulling for Sammy.  The lady over the special needs children put in her 2 cents,  Sammy's teachers and aides constantly brought his name up to the office staff,  he had other teachers and therapists gunning for him.  He had a large cheering section and I'm sure his name was one they tired of hearing.

As families started receiving their acceptance letters we eagerly awaited ours.  The teacher would call and email to check his status but those calls and emails went unanswered as did ours.  Joe and I left message after message and email after email all of which was ignored.  I let Joe take the reigns and talk to the office staff and he got no where.  By this time I was at my boiling point and furious as I had already been told TWICE by the office personnel that the Kindergarten slots were full.  I told them that was unacceptable and our son had a stellar interview and I wanted answers,  and I was not leaving another message to go unanswered and IF they denied Sammy then I wanted a legitimate reason.  20 minutes later I received a phone call telling me that Sammy's interview would be reviewed the following day and I should know Monday and if not call.  Monday rolled around,  no phone call,  no letter.  Joe was angry and so was I.  I was not going to beg these people to accept my son but damit they were going to tell me something.   I was fired up as I went into the office this morning and the momma bear in me came out full force.  I loudly expressed my displeasure by the lack of communication and time it was taking to give us an answer.  We had been patient long enough and nearly everyone knew their child's status except for us.  It also helped that the lobby was full of parents waiting for an assembly.   After telling them that If I didn't have answer by Friday they could take their application and shove it because I was over it,  I left.  No longer was I feeling defeated, but angry for Sammy.  Angry that I know what is best for my son and I want him to have a good education and everyone seemed to be jerking him around.  I was not about to lose this battle for Sammy after we have fought so hard,  and if we did lose it,  it sure as hell wasn't going to be from lack of trying. 

A few hours after I left the office, I received a phone call from the assistant principal telling me that Sammy had been ACCEPTED into the Academy.  The weight of the world was lifted off of us and we were beyond thrilled.  After a hard fought battle we had won and that was major victory for all of us, but most of all for Sammy.  He has worked so hard and is so intelligent and I refuse to send him to a school where I feel he will not be academically challenged. I disagree with homeschooling so that definitely was not an option for us. 

  If we would have given up and not fought so hard we would have been teaching our kids that giving up is an option and that being told no once is the absolute and final answer.  They would grow up thinking it was okay to just give up on something they desperately want and not fight for it.  That is not the message I want to send to my children.  I hate that we have to fight so hard sometimes, but it makes us appreciate it that much more when we do win the battle.