Dealing with grief and being an advocate for Autism

When my husband and I would talk about our future and our kids the word Autism was not even a thought in our minds.
Autism was something that you heard about happening to other families, not yours.
The harsh reality is that Autism can affect any family and doesn't discriminate.

When you hear that YOUR child has Autism or is on the spectrum you go through a wide variety of emotions, anger, frustration, sadness, depression, uncertainty, guilt.
My husband and I went through all of those emotions. We went through them together and we went through them separately in our own way.

More than anything we grieved. We grieved for the future of our son, the life he would have growing up and as an adult, the unknowns, and for ourselves.
We had a million questions that only time would be able to answer.

It's completely normal for you to feel anger and sadness. This is YOUR child and YOU can't cure him. It's not like a cut that you can put a band-aid over and wait for it to heal. There is NO magic cure for Autism.

I remember when I hit the peak of my grief. I was very sad for my son and my heart ached for him. Like many Autistic children my son fears having his hair cut. The buzzing of the clippers bothered him, but more than that it was the sensation of the falling hair touching his exposed skin that freaked him out. There is noway you're getting a cover around his neck to keep the hair off of him.
Haircuts are something that must be done and we would take him when we could no longer hold off.

Sammy wouldn't scream or throw a tantrum but he would shake and whimper. It was heartbreaking come haircut time and it was something we dreaded. Joe and I took him in and immediately we could sense his anxiety levels rising.
I explained to the young girl that he had Autism and to please not use the blow dryer on him because of his sensory issues. We would handle the excess hair ourselves.
Joe sat there holding Sammy trembling in his lap. He wasn't being loud or screaming or even moving around, he was just trembling and whimpering.
The girl looked at him and with a seemingly smart ass smile turned the blow dryer on and pointed it in Sammy's little face as if she really wanted to see the reaction he would have to the blow dryer.
Of course he started crying and freaking out. I very loudly told this woman that we explained to her about the blow dryer and his sensory issues. She proceeds to tell us that we need to walk him around the mall and if he learn to behave we could bring him back and she would try again.
I was furious and before I could curse this girl out Joe already did. I distinctly remember the F bomb being dropped a few times to this girl. After that my mother in law got us some clippers and from there Joe started cutting Sammy's hair himself.

I was furious but more than that I hurt for my son. Would it always be like this for him? Were ignorant people always going to test him to see his reaction to things? I cried on the car ride home and while I listened to my husbands anger I became fearful that our ventures in public would always be met with some ignorant person who had something smart to say and I would have to set them straight. I speak up when I see an injustice or someone putting down another for a handicap or something they can't help. My mouth can get me into trouble sometimes but my husband and I HAVE to be our sons advocate. These children have a voice and it's up to us to educate people and have their voices heard.
Even though Sammy is now verbal he is so innocent and doesn't understand when people are being rude or mean to him.

We have to push past that pain and grief and be the voices for Autism, not only for our child but for all the other children dealing with Autism as well. If we can educate one person on Autism then that's one more person who can spread the word and educate others.